pixiechick_sw

So, I've been living in revision-land the past few weeks. Last week, there was so much going on, I didn't get much done at all. This week, I'm trying to make up for it. It is kind of working--kind of.

I'm at the point in my revision where it seems like the dumbest book ever. The characters are flat and uninteresting. They are basically bookmarks that should say, "insert character here." The story is a long string of repetitive pointless events desperately trying to get from point A to point B. I keep getting confused what B actually is. The writing in the first few dozen pages is really nice, but the further a person goes, the more it all falls apart. I wanted to have a non-embarrassing draft to my editor by Christmas, but right now it's a wreck and I'm just praying for a Christmas miracle.

Whenever I write a book, I always get to this point (several times). It seems like I always need something--some little flash that makes it all interesting and congruent. I'm ready for that flash. I hope it comes soon. It is always simple--like the phrenology in West of Ideal or Bella's opening line in Palace Beautiful, but it always makes me see so much clearer and alters the character of the book. I feel like a flash is immanent, but I can't control or decide when or where it comes. I just have to sit down and plug away and stay open. I hope my flash respects my self-imposed deadlines. It usually does--but not always. The flash pretty much always has to do with character, though. I hope it does this time as well. I don't know any of them and I'm ready to see what they're all like. It's hard to make a character driven story when a person doesn't know the characters.

Last week I also occupied my time trying to figure out how in the world to do my website. The thing that was hardest was figuring out how to apply my domain name to the host site. Nothing was working because I had no idea what I was doing. An hour ago, I finally called tech support. It took the guy like 10 minutes to walk me through it all and fix everything. I should have done that a week ago instead of wasting hours and hours trying to figure it all out. It won't be all the way on line for another 24-48 hours, but this time, it should work for good.

Today, I haven't written yet because my brain was too tired. I sat down and crocheted and watched some of "The Godfather." I've never seen it before and I've been watching it in installments for a few days now. I need to do it in installments because it is WAY too violent for me. I want to see what happens, but sheehs! I'm not tough enough for this kind of movie, no matter how brilliant it is. I'll have to watch "Little Women" or something next to restore my faith in mankind.

I think I might pull out my revision and see what happens. Fingers crossed.

I hope you are all having a nice week. Have a lovely evening!

Okay, I've been working on my website for a week or so now. The lovely people at Verla's helped me by making suggestions on looks and function (there are still a few of their suggestions I need to follow, but it is mostly there). My dad helped me by getting it to work with my domain name (it might be another day or two before it officially goes over to my regular domain name, but at least it's in the process). Mostly, I have been tweaking and tweaking and taking photos and editing them and deleting them and taking more and writing this and fixing that and wondering how the heck am I going to make this not silly looking.

As of this afternoon, I officially love it! There are still two blank pages to be filled, but all the rest is up and running. I loved adding my own photos for the elements. The wooden desk-looking background of each page is from my kitchen table. The buttons in the border background are the buttons I made a few months ago--thanks to Tami at Verla's for the idea. I put little pieces of art and writing I did as a kid to make it accessible to my MG audience.

I wanted to make a website that has the feel of opening an old box a person might find hiding in an attic, and seeing what's inside. But not have it be so old fashion, it wouldn't be appealing. I hope it appeals to MG girls and their parents--and their librarians. ;) I don't know anything about computers or web design so I had to use moonfruit.com and do the cut and past, template thing, but I think it worked out very nicely.

Here is the photo I used for the border background of some of my handmade buttons:


I'm told if you don't have Flash, all the elements will be lost so I hope you all have Flash (whatever the heck that is).

To see the site:

the current temporary address is: sarahdefordwilliams.moonfruit.com

The permanent address (that should work in a day or two) is: sarahdefordwilliams.com

I hope you all had a nice Thanksgiving! We did. On Thanksgiving day we had dinner at Tyler's dad's house. It was a pleasant, low-key evening--just the way I like it.

The next day my parents and one of my brothers came to visit. It was a lot of fun! I don't get to see them very often so we squeezed a lot into our short visit. I had a great time.

It was an intense week of cleaning, followed by an intense couple days of visiting, now to be followed by an intense month of Christmas and revisions.

This past week and a half there have been so many things to attend to, I haven't worked on my revision. I think it is good for me to have a very productive couple of writing weeks, then a week or so off to let things stew and to get my mind unhooked so it can process things. I just picked it up again today and it felt good. I'm behind, though. I hope I can have a really good couple of writing weeks starting with what I just wrote today.

The kids come home from school soon and I promised to take them to the dollar store. We started a tradition last year that on the day we put up our tree (which is always Nov. 30) we have a dollar store Christmas party where we each buy everyone a dollar present and we put them under the tree and open them. We will probably also have treats and watch that old musical "Scrooge" that is dumb but somehow compelling and was my favorite when I was little.

Also, I used some of my Kindle Cover money and bought this for Charlotte and I:


She and I have always wanted to build a dollhouse together and I thought it might be a nice diversion for the Christmas season so I don't drown in revisions, extra holiday duties, concerts, practices, parties, etc, etc, etc. I guess I needed a kind of zen introversion project and that was purely for fun and not practical or useful in any way. By the way, if any of you are looking for great dollhouse kits, Overstock.com sells them for half the price of anywhere else for the exact same items. And they only charge like a dollar for shipping even though our kit weighs 35 pounds and is enormous. Just a note.

Well, I better get a bit of rest before our party tonight and the shopping that needs to happen before it. I feel like there should be 48 hours to each day in December to fit everything in.

I hope you are all having a lovely day and a good start to the holiday season.

The past few days, I've been a bit under the weather--not much, just enough that I don't have anything thrilling to say. I've been spending a lot of time on the computer and reading and crocheting and yoga and all that totally exciting stuff. It's fine for me, but pretty boring for you to read about.

Today I was sick of being home. Charlotte had to miss a few days of school last week and I stayed home with her, then I didn't feel well and stayed home some more. Today, I figured I was well and I went to my regular temple day. Well, I wasn't better. Half way through the session, I felt like I was going to faint, so I got up and the workers got me water and all that. I had to go home and miss the rest of the session. I'm not even that sick, I guess I just needed more rest.

Well, while I've been resting, I've been building a website. It's going pretty well. It's my first try so I'm sure the design will evolve as I learn more about all of this. Right now I think it's a bit busy and messy, but generally it's good so far. You can see it here: sarahdefordwilliams.com Well, probably. Sometimes today, the server at the hosting site was down and no one could see it. It isn't finished yet. Some of the pages say things like, "insert text here," and eventually, I will.

That's really all. I'm sitting on the couch watching The Office with Tyler, listening to the kids going nuts downstairs. I have no idea what they're doing. The vacuum is on, but it sounds like they are having much more fun than is reasonable for cleaning. Hmm.

* Going to Writer Girls Group last night. It is always nice, but last night was especially nice! I love those girls!

* Spending a few hours this morning with my daughters. We went to Target, World Market and Red Mango. We had a great time window--and non-window shopping, talking and spending time together. I love going to shops when Christmas stuff is up--especially with the girls. Some Christmas things I like because I like them, but somethings--like the following--I like for it's utter absurdity that can only happen during the most wonderful time of the year.

I took these photos a week or so ago at Walmart. Here is an assortment of mass produced, cardboard protected, ethnically diverse Christs:




Here is a heartwarming little ceramic building overflowing with the true spirit of Christmas:


* Going to get German food with Simon. We went to a restaurant he goes to with his friends. I love seeing one of his haunts. We both got weinersnitzle (however you spell it). It was hardy and satisfying. We got some German candy at the market in the restaurant and had a nice time visiting and laughing. Tyler and I struck the jackpot in the kid department. They are good kids and so much fun. Simon and I have a very similar sense of humor and I spent a good part of our time this evening cracking up. It's so fun to have teenage kids to do things with. He's such a great guy.

* Reading "Wives and Daughters." Once again, I have to say that I am passionately in love with my Kindle. One thing it helps me do is read very long books. There are a lot of books I knew I would love, but when I pick them up in the bookstore and fan through their 1000 pages, I get intimidated and put them back--even when they are easy reading, like Dickens and Gaskell. With my Kindle, all books are the same size and it helps me be able to read books that I might not in paper-print. I started "Wives and Daughters" the other day and it is just what I need right now--fun, funny, interesting and just meaty enough to keep my interested. Ah, English literature. How I missed you. Sigh. Will you marry me? Yes, I know I only read a book or two between Victorian English novels, but I never stray long. I always come home, beautiful Britain.

* Being home and knowing we still have the rest of the weekend to rest and regroup and relax together.

A few minutes ago, I was hula hooping (yes, Tres elegante) and watching a show about Paris. I am still on my being-French kick, but I'm getting a bit tired of the French now. I'm ready to go back to the English-kick where I usually am. Anyway, I was watching this show on Paris and they said that if a person spends three seconds--yes, seconds--in front of each piece of art in the Louvre, 24 hours a day, it would take three months to see everything. That's three seconds, twenty-four hours a day, for three months! The thing is, that was exactly how big it felt.

I took this photo in my first few days of being in Paris. It is just one little part of the museum.


I need to go on a trip again. I hope my book sells overseas so I have an excuse to travel more (and have some of it paid for). Since I didn't go back to school this semester, the kids say I don't have very exciting things to say when we are talking about our days. It's true. I used to tell them about things I learned in class like the culture of poetry and wilderness in ancient China, playing games in French Class, what part of the world we were studying in Art History and how our mountains were formed in Geology. Now I say things like, "I woke up and I read my scriptures, ate breakfast, exercised and got myself ready for the day. Then I wrote and cleaned out my closet." Wow!

Here I am walking down the main stairway at the Louvre. I'm the girl in the blue shirt and black jacket. The Nike of Samothrace is behind me. I just loved her!


Don't get me wrong. I like the peace--a lot! I have had plenty of stress and change and tough stuff to deal with this past year--especially my stupid panic problem, not to mention we are still on unemployment and our future job situation is still unclear. I guess I really am getting better, though, because I am finally starting to get itchy feet for an adventure. I guess that means I am feeling more myself every day.

It was good that I didn't go back to school because this revision is intense and it is going to stay intense until Spring. But, Im ready to have some fun and feed my spirit again. I am afraid to ask the Universe for it, though, because I'm afraid it will translate to more unstable job/health/life stuff again. By "adventure" Universe, I mean "fun" and "nourishing," not "character-building" and "humbling."

Here is the Venus di Milo. She had always been a symbol of kitch to me until I saw her in real life. She was astounding and one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. We went right to her as soon as the museum opened, so we could enjoy her without too much of a crowd.


I think my health is recovered enough that I am almost ready to have an adventure again--almost. I'm sure it will happen when I am all the way ready. I hope that's soon. I wish, though, that it was possible to teleport so I could blink my eyes, be in Paris, and spend this afternoon at the Louvre. That's what I really want to do today. Off to clean the hall closets.

This morning I went out writing with Emily. It was really fun to write with a friend. I did twice the work of a regular writing day!

We started out at a coffee shop near my house that also happens to be the Utah Gay Pride Center. I've wanted to write there before, but I wasn't sure...well...I guess...that I was invited. It turns out, I WAS invited, and it was a really fun place.

The problem was, it was really small and really packed with kids. It was hard to pay attention to writing when there were so many people talking and saying such interesting and funny things, and I am so ADD. Emily was distracted, too, so we decided to leave and go to a library in the Avenues. That worked great. It was quiet and the tables were big enough for us to spread out all our papers.

All together we wrote for around two and a half hours and I got 20 pages done--yes 20 pages! Plus I had the bonus of pleasant company. I really liked how it all worked out. I hope we can write together more often.

I've been working really hard on my revision. I've been so diligent, that my house is falling apart. It is a huge mess. Tomorrow, I am giving myself a writing break so I can concentrate on getting things done in my physical world, like laundry and organizing. I'm tired of the mess. Apparently, I can't work on a big revision and keep my house clean at the same time. I really need a maid. Actually, I just need to spend more time on my house because a maid can't organize my closet. I need to reorganize the systems before I can keep things clean again. I may need to take a couple of days off.

I'm going to go now and work on some Kindle covers so I can clean up the big pile of craft stuff in my living room. I need to get rid of the clutter, sit on my couch and crochet. Actually, I think I REALLY need that. Good night, all.

Sharon Loves Books and Cats is holding a Palace Beautiful ARC giveaway at her blog. If your interested, click here. Good luck!

http://www.sharonlovesbooksandcats.com/2009/11/contest-for-palace-beautiful-by-sarah.html

Today I attended my first writer conference--ever. Yes, I have never attended a conference, convention or anything of the sort related to writing before. It was a blast!

It all started last night at a dessert social at an art gallery here in Salt Lake City. The nice part was that I carpooled with my wonderful writing friend Emily. I get sometimes nervous when I have to be mingle-y and small talk-y. It was nice to start off with a friend, and as I warmed up, work my way around the room. I did it. I mingled, made small talk and enjoyed myself.

It is always easier to enjoy myself when Emily, Brodi, Matt and Bree are there so I know I already have friends to talk to when I have one of those awkward moments when I don't know what to do with myself. I had less of them than I expected and I had fun. I wish I'd brought my camera. Wait, I did, but I didn't take any photos. Actually, there was one that someone took of us with it, but I looked so bad, I deleted it.

This morning, I got up early. I was excited about going to a conference and hanging out with writers all day long. I decided I was going to be French and make sure I looked well put together. I wore a comfortable, but nice outfit, make up and accessories and my favorite shoes. I packed lip gloss and powder for touch ups and I was all ready to look like a professional--a French professional.

The problem was, with all that vanity, I got distracted, and when I got to the conference and in my chair, I realized I had forgotten to bring a notebook. So yeah. The whole point of the conference. Apparently, I can't be pretty and smart at the same time.

The first speaker of the day (and I think the best) was Elizabeth Law. She was funny, smart and a really good speaker. She talked about the road to publication and it was nice to hear it from an editor's point of view. I tried to take notes on my little pad of paper I keep stashed in my purse, but that wasn't enough. Fortunately, our library has shops in it. I snuck out of her talk and ran--literally--down stairs and shelled out $12 for a $2 notebook. See what my vanity costs me?! Then I ran back up stairs and transferred my notes.

The next speaker was Kendra Marcus. She spoke about agents. It was interesting, but I already have an agent--the best agent ever (no, I'm not bragging, it is just a fact). She talked really quiet and I actually didn't hear a lot of her talk, but it seemed pretty good from what I could hear.

The next session was about illustrating so Emily, Bree, Brodi and I went to a cafe downstairs and visited. I liked that part better than the classes. I have met with all of these girls on many occasions now, but I still feel like we are just getting to know each other. It felt like today, we did some nice clicking. After that we all went back up to the conference room and had lunch together.

After that, there was a talk about writing for boys. I was quite interested in this one seeing as how my books are pretty much as girly as books can be. I thought learning how to add maybe even some hints of the masculine might give it some depth or something. Well, I don't think I'll be writing for boys anytime soon. Every time the speaker told us what we need to do, it was the exact opposite of what I do--seriously, the EXACT opposite. It turns out the guy giving the talk was a guy I talked to for a long time the night before at the social because we are both with Putnam. I didn't know he was a speaker. The kind of funny thing is, he quoted me a few times in his speech. So yeah. I better watch what I say to people or they might be telling it to all the children's book writers in Utah and southern Idaho. It got me thinking about what boys want in writing as opposed to girls. I'm still thinking about it.

The next talk was on synopsis writing. I would probably have benefited from that class because I pretty much stink at synopsis writing (except for the one I wrote for Artificial Night, but that was a fluke), but instead Emily and I played hooky and went to the cafe to visit. That was probably my favorite part of the conference. I've met a lot of kindred spirits since I've started pursuing writing as a career, but she is probably the one I have been able to relate the most to. I just love her and it was so fun to visit with her.

After that, Bree and some other ladies did a panel discussion on being newly published. I guess if they do it next year, I'll be on the panel. Cool! It was fun to hear what they all had to say. I was pretty tired by then, though. I'd lost all my French-ness and I was wilting. It was a lot for me to take in and, although I loved the social parts--didn't panic at all--I was ready to go home and introvert for a bit.

I don't know why I was worried about panicking because of all the social stuff or so much information and all that. I did fine and had a great time. Maybe I really am getting over that weird panic thing that started happening to me a year ago. Finally! Today I got to listen, talk, laugh and listen, talk and laugh some more. It was fun. I'll for sure be going next year.

So, I've been having the blues off and on lately and Tyler suggested I stop immersing myself with Brontes and all the stuff I usually love to read in my free time and try something lighter. I agreed it might help lift my mood if I learn to read light stuff as well. The thing is, I'm just not in to light reading. I like the meat. That's the fun stuff for me, but I knew he was right. I got on my Kindle and looked up books in the totally foreign-to-me section--"humor" and I found this funny little gem. I think it's called How to be Impossibly French.

It is a book written by a British journalist who emigrated to France with her family and it is really cute. I'm still in the middle of it, but it's a quick read. When I went to France two and a half years ago, I was amazed how utterly beautiful the women were. It wasn't just how they did their make up or hair or what clothes they wore, it was how they walked and how the held themselves, and somehow it all looked effortless and natural. This book is about that--the clothes, make up, aire of confidence and all those things that make a French woman French.

Here is a photo I took in the window of a hat shop near our hotel in Paris:


Yesterday I decided I was going to be French. I was going to make myself beautiful and go out and be beautiful--because that is what you do when you are French, according to this author. So I did. I made sure I was clean, had tastefully simple make up on, fixed my hair, and put on flattering clothes and cute shoes with the right accessories. I even bought new lip gloss to be extra French. Then I went out. All I could think to do was run errands because, well, I'm American and if we aren't working or doing something useful and practical, we don't know what to do with ourselves. So I did something practical and was beautiful while doing it.

At first it felt great. I even tried to take photos of me because I looked so good, but the camera was at my husband's office so you'll just have to use your imagination. I told myself I looked beautiful and walked the way I learned when I was in Paris. It felt good to just be confident and move confidently and gracefully. I did like the author of the book said and checked my make up often, and kept aware of my body. After about an hour or two, though, I got sick of me. A person has to constantly be thinking about themselves and their body, and what they look like, and how they are carrying themselves, and if their new lip gloss is just right. Sheesh! I'm not cut out for that kind of self-awareness.

According to the book, if I was being truly French, I'd have to scope out all the women I see and compare to see who is the most beautiful, and if she is prettier than me, I was supposed to hate her. I didn't do that part. That was too far for me. I would also have to scope out their husbands and see if I would consider having an affair with them. Don't worry, I didn't to that part either. That was kind of easy, though, because I mostly went to craft stores.

One thing I can take from the book is permission to love black. I adore wearing black. I wear it almost everyday--heck I'm wearing it right now. She talked about how French women like dressing in black and cream. I can do that--and I DO do that, and I went to the store today and bought even more of it. I am getting to be a better shopper all the time. I never knew how to buy clothes for myself, but this year, with my book deal, we have had a bit of extra for me to experiment with. I have begun to really learn my style, and my shopping is now more productive and I can find what works best faster and more affordably. I may actually be a stylish person one day. That part of me is turning French-er all the time.

Today, when I went clothes shopping, I thought I should try and be French again, but I just didn't have the energy, so I went to the store in a greasy ponytail, wearing a men's sweater I bought last year at Wal Mart. I did wear my best trousers and my favorite heels, because they make the sweater look almost cute (almost), and I bought some great black clothes and some very cute black accessories. I also remembered my make up and my new lip gloss, but I just didn't have the French pizzaz I had, until I got tired, yesterday. A person has to do it all the way or it doesn't work. A few elements just won't cut it.

For me, I'm not sure I would make a very good French woman for more than just looks. For one, I would have a hard time taking myself that seriously. I like to laugh and joke around and I don't often look around to compare myself to other women. I enjoy the company of other women and I don't care who is prettier or has more or who's husband is hotter. I probably wouldn't even notice. I'm happy with what I have. Besides, I have this thing were my feelings are always right on my face, just like a little kid. I can't hide anything. That is embarrassing to me sometimes because it is the opposite of suave and sophisticated, but that's just how I was made. I hope it's one of those traits that people find endearing rather than humiliating--I hope.

Here is a picture of me taking a photo of myself in a huge mirror at the Paris Opera House--a very unFrench thing to do, but I like it because, although it isn't sophisticated, it is a very Sarah thing to do.


One thing I love about the French beauty culture is how they treat aging. In America and in Britain, where the author is from, aging is something to be avoided and denied at all costs. We live in a cult-of-youth culture. We do Botox, plastic surgery and all that extreme stuff to pretend we aren't getting older because to us older means undesirable and unattractive. Well, in France, that is different. I saw so many older ladies, hunched over walkers and canes that were exquisitely beautiful and elegant women. The French believe that women are beautiful no matter their age. I sure hope this part of the culture stays just like it is. A French woman knows how to be a beautiful 20 year old, 50 year old and 80 year old. We could all take a lesson from that.

Well, that is all I have to say on the matter. I want to finish the book this weekend. It is a fun read. I'm going to have to try more fun reads. Maybe I will sit stylishly on my couch wearing black and cream, and lip gloss looking very chic with my new found humorous light reading material in hand. Tres Bien!

I have been living in revision land for the past few days. I've set some deadlines for myself, and so far, I am miraculously keeping to them--nay, exceeding them (and by exceeding, I mean, I'm finishing early and totally kicking butt).

Here are my goals. They are all self-imposed. My editor gave me much more time than I am giving myself. But if I can pull it off in this time frame, I'll have more time to get things really polished and perfect--and that's the way I like them--polished and perfect. It is going to take some serious work, but I'm ready.

Goals:

#1--to have the book come to some kind of real solid conclusion by this Friday. I actually met that goal yesterday. I really hate early draft endings, though. They are so slapped together and quick and don't feel satisfying yet. Nevertheless, I met the goal and I can now move on to hopefully making it better.

#2--to start and finish a draft that really puts the meat into the story by Dec. 10. I started it today and I was able to do the first sixteen pages. These first few days will be easy because the beginning of the book is nice. It's the middle and especially the end that are really needing serious revision help. I figure if I can do around 10 pages a day, five days a week, until the book is around 200 or so pages, I can do it. That is a lot for me, but I have 130 reasonably good pages already written to cut and paste. The tough part will be really getting to know the characters, deciding which story elements and symbols to go with and all that meaty stuff.

#3--to do a quick two week revision where I make the story as little embarrassing as possible at this stage in the game, then send it to Susan--and probably have a huge panic attack that I am the worst writer in the history of all writers and she is going to hate it and regret ever signing me and it will be terrible and unfixable. Actually, that last part isn't exactly a goal, it is just what I foresee happening. After that Susan and I will begin working on it together.

It is a little hard for me, but good for me, to have to do a book this fast. I am a real perfectionist and you know as well as I do, that being a perfectionist is never--ever--a good thing. I'll have to quit being that way and work really hard and perfect not being a perfectionist. Yes, I'm hopeless. Anyway, I'm not used to showing someone my work until it is as perfect as I can possibly get it. I imagine when I give this to Susan, there will still be many things that I can see that need work, but I will need her opinion about the directions certain elements and characters should take. She is a great editor and will instantly see the things I see that need fixing, plus the million and a half other things I never thought of before. That's when the tough stuff happens, but it is all good and part of the process.

Also, the other day on a reasonably related note, I finally joined SCBWI. I've been debating for years now and I finally decided to take the plunge. There is a conference that a bunch of friends are attending this Saturday and I signed up to go. I'm sorry to say, I'm still a little shy about that stuff--and by "a little shy", I mean, pass the Xanax. I'm not shy at all when I get to know you, but I am very shy about going to conventions and retreats and things like that that are all the way social. I just don't know what to do with myself when I have to mingle and terrifying things like that. I am much more comfortable sitting on my bed writing than being a social butterfly.

Last night I had a dream that I went to the conference and I sat in my seat at the library, and all of a sudden the lights went down and thumping music starting playing. It turns out that SCBWI conferences were all laser and flashing light shows with embarrassing uber-emotional motivational testimonies from people walking the stage with fancy headset microphones and all that, telling us that "you, too can get a book published. All you have to do is follow their proven program." That is my worst event nightmare. I wanted to slip under my chair and hide. It was horrible. I was so glad when I woke up to realize, really, I will be going to the library, which I love, with a room full of kindred spirits, which I love, and enjoying a day of learning about and talking about writing, which I love. I can totally do that--and have fun. I'll learn to do all this stuff without my crippling shyness eventually. I will learn to just relax and be myself and enjoy. It will take some practice, though--at least the relaxing part will.

That is where I am with my goals. I imagine my blog posts will take one of two turns for the next month. They will either be interesting, funny and full of insight because my brain is all awake and getting lots and lots of exercise. Or they will be brain dead lists of what I did--made dinner, did laundry, can't think, brain hurts, too much thinking, must take bath and rest brain, type things. We'll see.

Have a great evening, all!

This morning the girls and I went to the mall. We got some clothes (which I NEVER buy at malls so it was extra fun), some lunch and some books.

This afternoon I rested and read.

This evening Tyler and I left the kids at home and had dinner with some friends. We had a great time. I'm still all wired and happy. We need to visit with grown ups more often--especially those particular grown ups.

Now it's night and Tyler went out to play with his buddies like he does every other week and I'm home with the kids. Ellen is making cupcakes, Charlotte is making paper beads and Simon is recovering from his camp out last night and is already in bed.

That's about it. It was a nice day!

the past few days I have been researching sheds--the kind that look like cute mini houses--to see if I want to get one to be my very own writing space.

Since I started working on this revision, it seems like the whole world has decided to intrude on me. As soon as I sit down, everyone calls and asks me to do everything for them. As soon as the writing starts to flow, someone comes over just to say hi, or someone needs something and thought they'd ask me. It has just been too busy, with too many pointless details, and too many people needing me. There are too many intrusions into my writing time and my personal emotional and psychological space. Oh man, I just realized I was supposed to collect money for Primary Children's Hospital and have it turned in today. I'll have to put it on my growing "fail" list.

I decided I need a place to go to do my writing--a place with no phone, where no one will knock on the door asking me to do stuff for them. It couldn't be in the house because that is where most of the people who need me live, besides we are using every single inch of the house and there isn't any room for extras--like a writing desk for me ( I write on my bed). I thought it might be nice to have a little office made from a garden shed in the back yard that I could decorate and make my own.

There are two problems--the same problems that recur over and over in my life--money and heat. First, money--we don't have any. Well, that isn't exactly true. We have some in savings that we are slowly using to supplement Tyler's not-quite-stable-yet income. Technically, I can afford to buy a shed, but that doesn't mean I should afford a shed. Besides, I am hoarding our savings because it all came from my book deal and I want to keep it. We have also never had any savings before and I like it this way much better.

The other problem is heat. I don't like heat--at all. As soon as it gets above 72 degrees, I can't sleep anymore. As soon as it gets up to 80 outside, I am prone to heat exhaustion and I just don't function well. I don't know when this heat thing started, but I think it had to do with our six years in Phoenix. It was terrible. I love the people there, but I was depressed for six years because of the climate--hot and dry are not my friends. While we were in Phoenix, I spent my time carting around and being pregnant with babies and that made it so much hotter and I haven't been able to endure the heat since. What does this have to do with the shed writing space? The greenhouse effect. Sheds can get hot. I knew if it got hot inside, I wouldn't be able to write or even spend more than a few minutes in there at a time.

The other day, I found a darling shed with a little shuttered window and pretty little-house look at Lowes. It was in my price range and bigger than I was expecting for the price. Plus it had a built in workspace that I could turn into a desk. I was pretty excited!

I went back today to decide if I wanted to buy it or not. I had them unlock it--actually, the lock was broken so they had to use those huge cutter things to break the lock off. It was kind of neat to watch. As soon as I stepped inside, I knew that I was not going to get a shed. It is November. We are having record heat. Today was actually the warmest November day on record in the history of Utah--for real--I'm not using hyperboles here. But seeing as how it is November, the super-heat was only about 75 degrees. I stepped inside the shed and it was hot--really hot--like a car sitting in the sun hot. What would it feel like if it was 100 degrees out? I don't want to know. I knew right then and there, I will not be getting a writing space anytime soon.

I'm starting to wonder how I even wrote my other books with all the phone calls and the errands and the needing and the asking and the problem solving and the stuff that goes along with being a wife, a mom, LDS and part of a small neighborhood. You people are asking a heck of a lot from me. I've got to find a quiet place where I won't get disturbed and get to work. Anyone have any suggestions?

P.S. I have to mention that two hours ago, Tyler sent me to our room to write and has taken the kids off my hands. There has only been one interruption in two hours, so my complaining may be overblown--at least the part that applies to tonight.

I accidentally over-shared and said things I wasn't supposed to know about yet on my last cover entries so I deleted them and I'll start over. Be glad. You get the brief, less vent-y, neurotic report.

Here is the latest version of the cover that I have seen. They have officially decided to go with the three girls artwork. They were thinking for a while of changing it. I am still not crazy about it, but I really like the new design direction. I love the font and the size of it and how it wraps. I also like the frame.



Well, if I'm going to leave out the neurotic complain-y bits, then I guess that's all there is to say about that. It's definitely for the best.

Today, I haven't felt very well. I was sick Sunday and on Monday, instead of resting and writing and getting better, I ran errands from morning till night. I didn't feel well, but I made myself do it anyway. Things had to get done and who else was going to do them? Then, when it was time for bed, I couldn't sleep and I had a stupid anxiety attack. I don't have them nearly as often anymore, but I think my body was mad at me for not taking care of it.

Well, while that was going on, some guy fell asleep at the wheel and crashed into an electric pole and knocked power out to our part of town. Even thought it was the middle of the night, Tyler was still at work so I called him and asked him to come home. I felt better after he got here, but I still didn't sleep until almost sunrise. Luckily, our house is always warm, so even with no electricity in the middle of the night when it is frosty outside, it stayed in the sixties inside. The power came on at about four AM.

I hope Tyler doesn't have to work so late very often. I hope no one else falls asleep at the wheel and knocks out power to our part of town, and I hope I can get some sleep tonight so I can feel better tomorrow and get back to regular life.

I'm pretty tired so I hope this entry makes sense. My brain has already gone to bed. Good night, brain. Sleep tight.

This morning we took the kids to Ikea. We walked around and window shopped then had lunch. It was fun to just go out with the whole family.

Tyler bought each of the kids a pumpkin and they spent the afternoon carving them. I roasted the seeds--my favorite Halloween treat. And we all hung out together.

After that, Simon and Ellen went to friends' houses to trick or treat. Tyler and I took Charlotte up to his dad's neighborhood to trick or treat. I usually stay home and pass out candy, but Charlotte is getting old and Tyler said that it might be her last time trick or treating with her parents so I should go, too. I'm glad I did. It was fun to walk around the nice neighborhood where we used to live. There were SO many kids there. It was fun to see all the costumes and the excited kids running from house to house.

When we got home, we found the kids' jack o lanterns smashed all over our front porch. Charlotte was broken hearted and cried. Tyler cleaned up the mess, and reminded me that it could happen anywhere, because he knew it was just one more thing to add to the I-can't-wait-to-get-out-of-this-neighborhood checklist.

Tyler is going to pick up the kids in a few minutes and Charlotte is in the bath washing off her goth makeup. And that was our Halloween.

I hope you all had a nice Halloween!

Happy Halloween Eve, everyone! I like Halloween. I like staying home, handing out candy and watching scary movies. I like the week before Halloween staying home and watching scary movies. I guess I like scary movies and Halloween is an excuse to enjoy a week or two of them. By the way, when I say "scary movies" I mean pretty wimpy scary movies for example, this past two weeks, I've watched such movies as The Birds, Gaslight, 13 Ghosts (I guess that means I add silly scary movies to my list), The Skeleton Key, etc.--those kind of scary, not slasher blood and gore kind of scary.

Here is Charlotte in costume. I took this photo five minutes ago before they all left for the school Halloween carnival. Her costume has an air of foreshadowing. It is strangely fitting.


There are things I don't like about Halloween as well. Mostly it is the buying parts. It feels very unnatural and against my instincts to spend money on items such as wigs, black lipstick, plastic ninja swords, fake nails and lots and lots of candy. I always walk around the store with my cart filled with Halloween supplies and think, I should not be doing this. But in reality, I should. It just feels wrong.

I am going to close now and enjoy having the house to myself. I am already plundering the Halloween candy and still have a sugar headache from earlier plundering. I'm going to check the TV and see if there are any scary movies to watch tonight. I hope you all have a fun Halloween Eve!

Ever since I decided to do ARTIFICIAL NIGHT, I have had flashes of the plot come to me when I sit down to write, when I wake up at night, while I'm in the mountains, etc, etc, etc and it just keeps coming! Yay!

For me to pull this book off, I needed to find the plot (that is always the hardest part for me), write it in story form and then fill it out. Making the synopsis for my agent and editor really helped me find the direction of the book. I tend to overcomplicate plot when my WIP is new. Then I whittle it down and fill in the details. This time, I have more of a focused direction. My motto for this WIP is "keep the plot simple!" That way, I can focus on the details, characters and the sensory experience that all need to be very strong with this book.

I still had some unanswered questions and today when I sat down to write, the answers started flowing like water. I got out my notebook and made pages and pages of notes. Now, I know where the story is going and why. There aren't many other big plot questions to be answered. Yay! I hope to be able to take this story to an actual end in the next couple of weeks. Once I get to that point, the revisions can focus on the meat and the style and the characters--all the good stuff.

All those good luck wishes from all of you must be helping! Thanks!

THIS

Sorry, I can't embed it, but click on the link to watch.

I heart Tim Burton and this looks right up my alley. It comes out in March. Enjoy!

Book:
My editor read WEST OF IDEAL and sent me her detailed notes. She and Erin both said they like WEST OF IDEAL, but they LOVE the synopsis of ARTIFICIAL NIGHT. The surprising thing is, Susan left it up to me which book we work on to fulfill my contract! After I read her WEST Of IDEAL notes, I knew that doing ARTIFICIAL NIGHT would be just as much work as WEST OF IDEAL, but I would probably like it better in the end. Besides, ARTIFICIAL NIGHT is more congruent with PALACE BEAUTIFUL, so that is the book I chose. I was really stressed that it might the book I would have to work on, but right now, I feel really good about it. It will be very hard, but I think I can pull it off and make it a very good book. Wish me luck, though. I'll need it.

Charlotte's school:
She LOVES her new school. She LOVES her teachers. She LOVES what they are learning and how they are learning it. She is VERY happy there. She hasn't found any great friends yet, and that is the part that is still hard. The kids are rougher and more inappropriately precocious than in her old school. I know she will do fine, though. She is always good at finding friends. It will just take some time.

Tyler's Job situation:
He has heard nothing from all the jobs he has been applying to, so he is still doing his own thing, but he is not enjoying it as much and is pretty stressed out all the time. I think he is taking too much personal responsibility and losing perspective on life. He needs to either find a way to keep perspective and find some measure of balance in his life, or get a job with a firm where the the structure is set and there are other lawyers to talk shop with. He has always had a hard time with priorities, balance and creating a deciplined structure for himself and now that is his full time job. It will be good if he could learn these life skills, but if he won't, he needs to not be self-employed. I hope he finds some measure of peace soon, for all our sakes. It is certainly a baptism by fire for him right now. No fun.

Church calling:
I'm still in nursery, but I also got called to be the ward Girls Camp Director! That will be so fun! I am a little confused, though, because they also asked me to teach some in Young Young Womens. I'm not exactly sure how that works when I am still the nursery leader, but I suppose I'll just have to see. It is a bit unreasonable to ask a person to teach two different classes, in two different organizations that meet at the exact same time. Maybe they will clone me. I'll ask.

Simon's flu:
All better! He was only sick Sunday and we were very glad about that because Monday was his 14th birthday! He's such a great kid! It was fun to celebrate with him!

So far no one else has gotten sick--knock on wood.

Today:
We had our first snow of the season today! It was just lovely!


this morning I sat down to write and did about a page, then a friend came over and brought me some homemade soup spicy peanut soup and a rice ball. I have never tasted soup like that before it was wonderful! She is from Samoa and her husband is from Africa. I wonder if the recipe came from one of those places. It was such a nice treat--especially since she didn't bring some for the whole family--it was just a treat for me. :)


After we visited, I went to visit teach from friends. I always like talking with them, they are great girls. Then I went home and ate my soup and watched the first part of The Skeleton Key--creepy! Then I picked up the kids.

I was hoping to get more writing done today, but maybe I needed visiting, homemade soup and a scary movie more than writing. I really need to do some serious work tomorrow, though. I suppose I will have to do what Tyler is trying to do, not lose my head and keep things in balance and in perspective while I am trying to do more than I can do. :) Wish us luck!

This morning Simon came down with the stomach flu. I knew that meant I had to miss church and miss the family party after church. I wanted to so something fun just for myself so it could still be a nice day.

I did my favorite thing, just walking in the canyon with my camera. It was so beautiful and so refreshing--exactly what I needed. I adore Utah this time of year!

Here are a few of my favorite photos of the canyon I took just an hour or two ago.












Happy Autumn!